She would stand there forever if I let her.
Look at those legs! Gah she kills me. I couldn't have asked for a cuter girl.
I've been blogging less and less. Why? I've been trying to figure out how to be a mother, a good mother. So far I have only figured out one thing,
BEING A MOTHER IS HARD.
I was folding laundry the other day and just kept asking myself how many more laundry baskets of clothes would I end up folding in my life time. How many more toys would I pick up, how many more meals would I make, how many more beds would I make, how many times would I clean the bathtub, and how many times would I wash the same exact dish?
Then, I was at Kerry's flag football game the other day, and since then I have been in total melt down mode. The field was full of 6 teams, each team comprising of 7 guys or more and all I could think of was that there is no way I could get a group of woman that size together on a Saturday at such short notice., NO WAY.
Why is that? Why is it that we don't make time for ourselves?
When I was pregnant I took such wonderful care of myself. I made sure I wasn't stressed, I ate right and worked out, I was more healthy that I have ever been, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Why is that I was so concerned for Lus and her health but I won't take the same kind of care of myself when It's just for me? And the thing is it's not just for me! When I am at my best the whole family is at it's best. If I don't take care of myself now, she will suffer. So why don't I do it?
This thought can, and has, gone in a million different directions, and it will continue until, well forever. I can only hope that I one day figure it out but I'm sure it will remain a constant struggle to make time for myself, to not feel guilty for it, to find satisfaction in a clean bathroom and home made meal, and to relax.
I WILL find time to paint, to work out, to take shoot field trips by myself that in no way are work related, to say NO to clients and friends, to ask Kerry for a night of sleep, to be Sharon.
So that I can be a better
mom
wife
business owner
artist
church leader
friend
family member
and
person.
I WILL find time to paint, to work out, to take shoot field trips by myself that in no way are work related, to say NO to clients and friends, to ask Kerry for a night of sleep, to be Sharon.
So that I can be a better
mom
wife
business owner
artist
church leader
friend
family member
and
person.
Post a comment: What do you mothers do to stay sane?
Work less! For real, that has made all the difference for me. In November I have had hardly any work and I have worked out 5 times a week, made a meal almost every night, played with Lucy more and spent time with friends and family. It has been wonderful. I can't do it all, although I try and I always seem to get the short end when I do. This month I have stopped going to bed at 1 or 2 AM. I don't know. It's hard. We all find our own balance the best we can, but I feel so much better when I'm taking care of myself.
ReplyDeleteSharon...funny thing that I was folding laundry and thought exactly the same thing...
ReplyDeleteI am going through the same struggle these days....feeling so isolated, and alone...no time for myself...and I am in not good mood here and there...glad to know that I am not alone ;)
I always remember something I learned from James Ray... Balance doesn't exist. In fact if every part of our lives were perfectly balanced, we wouldn't be happy. Depending on the day a different part of our life needs more or less time than the others, and THAT'S OKAY! We must strive for HARMONY.. some of the most beautiful pieces of music don't have ALL of the instruments playing the exact same amount all the time (balanced)... that would sound awful. It's a little here, a little there.... and somehow they all complement each other and create a masterpiece.
ReplyDeleteI am no expert by any means... I am constantly feeling guilty no matter where I spend my time, but remembering life is about Harmony and not balance seems to help.
Good luck on your qwest, do update us with any helpful insights!
i started working out with my mom, and i am learning to sew. but in the mean time my bed isn't made and the laundry isn't folded. some days you just have to do something you want to instead of what you think you should do.
ReplyDeleteunfortunately there is not magical formula. most of all i think i need to stop thinking about money.
I crochet. It's fun, but I'm also creating something at the same time. I'm also teaching myself to only do one chore a day. Bathroom, kitchen, vacuum, etc. Each on a different day. And you just take each day at a time. If things don't go according to plan, you just need to take it in stride. I don't have all the answers, of course. You know that. Simple answer:take time for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is about women that make it so we don't get together like the men do. It seems like I hear so many women with the same complaint but we always have some "reason" not to get together when the opportunity presents itself.
ReplyDeleteFor me part of maintaining my sanity is going to work and leaving Trinity at a daycare where I trust the people. We also have her grandpa watch her for like an hour or two every so often. I think it's good for her to be in different enviornments and when she is happy when I come get her it's just an afirmation that I am doing the right thing.
I also am trying to workout more. I tried to find a mommy and me class somewhere, anywhere but couldn't find any so I bought a dvd. I'm not really thrilled about it because it's not as much of a yoga thing as I thought so I've started just doing the free videos on yogatoday.com and just have Tinity at my feet when I do it. She thinks it's pretty entertaining. I don't get the full effect of doing the video cuz I make faces at her and stuff while I'm doing it and I usually only last like 30 minutes instead of the full 50 or so but it's still good. I'd be More Than happy to let you borrow the dvd that I bought if you'd like. The aquatic center has a daycare if you wanted to do a class there. I think it's only $3/hr but I haven't tried it out yet.
Growing up my mom had me and my bro in a "Joy School" group so she could get stuff done. Basically it was like 5 moms that took turns watching everyones kid. So you'd drop your kid off at who evers house it was that day and they would play games and sing songs and do crafts and stuff with the kids for like 2-3 hours. Once a week it is your turn to entertain the kiddos but you get 4 days where you can do whatever you want for a couple hours. I'm hoping to do something similar when Trinity gets older even if it's like only on Saturdays or something.
I also try and go out with some girlfriends at least once a month, just girls and hopefully leave the babys with the hubbies when we can but even if we have to bring the baby we still get together.
Sharon, I love you! I think every mom feels this way at one time or another. The one and only thing that helps me be stress free is to pick the things that matter the very most to me and make sure they are taken care of. As you well know, my house takes a back seat to me playing with my kids, going out with my husband, and doing things that maintain my sanity like going out to lunch or taking a nap. I have to be a happy mom if I want my kids and husband to be happy, that means I can't even think about the dishes in the sink or the laundry some days. Feel free to take time just for you and never feel selfish for doing it, the other 99.9% of our lives is devoted to those we love. Also, I never got a babysitter until Lila was 3-big mistake. If I could go back and do it again, I would get babysitters all of the time. It makes life so much easier when you can go places and run errands without working around naps and feedings and all sorts of craziness. You are doing a fabulous job by the way and Lus is one lucky little lady.
ReplyDeleteThis feeling is constant for me. Dave got the flu on Monday so he come home from work early and went to bed. I got the flu on Tuesday and I took Isaac to school, took Noah to school, played with Zoe, did laundry, picked Noah up, picked Isaac up, made dinner for everyone (inbetween running to the bathroom trips), asked Dave to stay home from YM for some help and he agreed, then went anyway for an hour...and I went to bed at 9 pm and was up 7 times in the night with kids and throwing up. It just never ends for a mother. That's just the way it is. I learned that shortly after Isaac was born and now with baby #3, I have to remind myself every day--that's just the way it is for a mother.
ReplyDelete