My mind feels murky, and I can't shake it. I have felt nothing but "fine" for the last few weeks and "fine" is hell to me. I'd rather be horrible than "fine."
Maybe I need to get rid of MORE?
Garage sale is tomorrow, we have been going through all of our stuff the last week and really, I am getting rid of SO much. The horder inside of me is slowly fading away and with each book, dvd, or dish I put in the "get rid of box" my head gets little more clear. Not to say getting rid of the last 10 years of hording is easy. It's not, IT IS HARD. Anything worth doing is hard, right? Right.
Yet, it doesn't feel like enough.
I need more gone, more in the trash, more room for me, more room for family, more room for MY work, not some coppied crap that's been done over and over again!!!!!!!!
..... and there it is,
all fo this muk in my head.
It is amazing to me that this decluttering of my home has overrun everyother aspect of my life. Including my relationships, my photography, my business, my thoughts, my religion, my goals.. etc. etc. etc.
I always want more more more.
More emotion, more thought, more feeling, more doing, more time, more everything.
The only way to get it, is to get less of everything.
And I'm getting rid of all of it.
And then I can think
And then I can see
And then I can decide
and then finally, I'll be able to feel more than just.... "fine".