Not upon someone else but suffering for you? Is it odd that I do? You do, I'm guessing, and you ask your own, (and I'm now just asking it as well)
Why would you ever want suffering? WHY? why? .... why?
I guess because I think by going something really really hard, it makes it easier to:
feel happiness, to feel anything.
have a good reason for being so not-happy.
be taken from monotony.
have a hard push towards better.
To be closer to God.
I am feeling far far away from him right now. I miss him, I miss how we were, I miss KNOWING him and having him consume my thoughts. The frustrating thing is I know how to fix it all, and I know who and what I am supposed to be and I'm not it, I don't even feel like I'm even on my way to it right now. So why don't I just do it then? Why can't I just leap? What is it that is holding me back from it all? It is daunting. The simplest tasks and questions seem so daunting. People always ask in movies,"Where are you God?" I'm here asking "God, Where am I?"
My relationships are good, my business is good, I'm not doing anything negative, some would even say I'm doing good ... I SHOULD be happy, I SHOULD be doing MORE,
and I'm not.
So if life is great and I'm not...
maybe if I was suffering I would be...